The Pineapple To Her Pizza


Two ladies with pizza in a cafe

MODERN LIFE SHORT STORY BY LESLEY-ANNE JOHNSTON

Maybe Daria could learn a thing or two from the owners of Cabrelli’s café…

“Pineapple does not belong on a pizza!”

Daria chewed slowly on her macaroni cheese, watching the couple behind the café counter with amusement.

“Who says?” Rena, the matriarch of the business, replied to her clearly frustrated husband.

“We’re getting asked for it more often these days,” she added. “It’s about time we moved with the times.”

The great Hawaiian pizza debate, which had long been a source of great controversy, had clearly found its way into Cabrelli’s café, causing quite the stir between the long-married owners.

“Ask the girl,” Peter said, directing his wife’s attention to Daria. “Pineapple on pizza is disgusting, isn’t it?”

The younger woman swallowed slowly, unsure Peter would appreciate her reply.

“I don’t mind it, actually,” she replied. “Although I can understand why some people might find it a bit off-putting.”

Rena smirked, throwing a tea towel over her shoulder and continuing with her updates to the online food delivery menu.

“The girl has no taste,” Peter declared, skulking away to the kitchen in defeat.

Daria smiled. Debates like this were a regular occurrence in Cabrelli’s café.

Peter and Rena had been married for decades, and despite their regular disagreements in the kitchen, their love for one another remained as strong as the foundations of the building, which had been in Peter’s family since the 1920s.

“After all these years you would think he would have learned to let me get on with it,” Rena said, parking herself beside Daria for a chat.

“I don’t think I remember you guys ever agreeing on anything.” Daria chuckled. “Most couples would have called it a day by now.”

Rena laughed heartily.

“A little disagreement is healthy in a relationship. How is your love life going?”

Daria frowned, stuffing cheesy pasta into her mouth in an attempt to delay her answer.

Her love life most definitely wasn’t going anywhere.

To her credit, her most recent relationship had lasted longer than previous attempts and had felt as if it had the potential to blossom into something real.

All of Daria’s friends were quick to comment how alike the couple had been, sharing similar interests and world views.

For once she had honestly believed she had struck gold, and she hadn’t been afraid to dream of how things could be.

Daria was the romantic type.

She longed for the kind of romance Rena and Peter had – an eternal flame, like the song by the Bangles that had been number one in the charts on the day she was born.

Yet her recent attempt at love could only be likened to a sparkler on Bonfire Night, bright and exciting but ultimately fizzing into nothing.

“It just wasn’t meant to be,” Daria mumbled, hoping Rena wouldn’t pry much further.

“Oh, dear,” Rena replied, rubbing her loyal customer’s hand gently.

“There are plenty of fish in the sea, though,” Daria countered, attempting to remain upbeat to avoid more of Rena’s pity.

“There may well be plenty of fish in the sea,” Rena said wisely, “but what you need is the pineapple on the pizza. What I have with Peter is the pineapple on the pizza.”

Daria screwed up her face in confusion,

“Peter hates Hawaiian pizza,” she said, wondering if perhaps it was time for Rena to close up shop and take a rest.

Rena laughed loudly.

“We are two very different people, Peter and me,” Rena explained. “On the surface we go together like pineapple and pizza.

“We don’t seem very compatible, and for some people it doesn’t work, but for us – it works!”

Daria understood what her friend meant.

There very well may be plenty of fish in the sea, exactly where they were meant to be found, but maybe she wasn’t meant to be with another “fish”.

Her previous partners had ticked every box when it came to the perfect match, but not every couple could say the same.

Rena and Peter managed to bring their differences together to create a love that had spanned decades.

Perhaps all Daria needed to do was be a bit more creative with her choices.


Next day, Daria was standing in the doorway of the local church hall, waiting for the choir group to begin.

She hated singing, which meant the local choir felt like the perfect place to begin her quest for new love.

It was all too easy to meet someone “perfect” at one of the many events she enjoyed taking part in: someone who shared similar interests and ideas to herself, like her previous boyfriends.

However, none of those relationships had worked, so it was time to look for something completely new.

“You’re new, aren’t you?” Daria turned to face the man addressing her.

“I’m Sean,” he added, handing Daria a thick pile of paper stapled multiple times in the top corner. “It’s great to have you here.”

Daria smiled brightly. Choir might not be too bad if everyone was as friendly as her new acquaintance.

“Thanks,” she said, taking her place at the back of the group, where it was possible to mime without being caught.

The choir practice was exactly as Daria had imagined – boring.

Yet she had to admit that it felt nice to meet people she wouldn’t normally have met.

And she most certainly wouldn’t have met Sean, the friendly choirmaster who had made her feel more than welcome.

“Have you ever thought about getting into amateur dramatics?” Sean asked Daria as they shared a coffee during break.

She hadn’t, but wasn’t keen to reveal her lack of enthusiasm just yet.

“I have once or twice,” she fibbed, maintaining eye contact with a helium-filled balloon that was stuck to the ceiling.

“I’m part of a theatre group that meets on a Wednesday evening,” Sean explained, a smile spreading across his face. “You should definitely come along.”

Daria felt her heart leap into her mouth.

She knew it was premature to get her hopes up, but considering how friendly and attentive Sean had been towards her this evening, the invitation to spend more time in his world could be exactly what she was looking for.

“I’ll be there!” she replied brightly, mirroring Sean’s enthusiasm, before worrying if she had perhaps been a little bit too enthusiastic.


The next evening, Daria arrived at the local high school theatre early, excited to meet up with the lovely Sean again.

Sure, amateur dramatics might not appeal to her, but she was sure she could get used to it over time.

Who knew, moments like these could be something she could share with her grandchildren one day, when she explained the reason behind their happy marriage, surrounded by friends and family at their golden wedding anniversary.

Daria shook her head briskly.

She barely knew Sean, and it was silly to fill her head with romantic notions so soon, no matter how nice they made her feel.

The theatre was already busy with actors warming up for the evening’s activities when Daria entered.

“You made it,” Sean said, welcoming the new arrival. “Come and stand beside me.”

Daria followed Sean to his position near the front of the group and mirrored his warm-up movements closely, desperate to create an appearance of familiarity with the acting world.

It needed to look like something she had always been a part of, and not something she had only recently clung to in the hope of finding a man.

“Hi, I’m Lizzie.” The girl standing on the other side of her said warmly. “Sean said you were coming tonight. It’s great to meet you.”

Daria smiled, pleased to hear Sean had taken time to mention her to people.

It was a sure sign she had been on his mind.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” she replied, contorting her body into a yoga pose that was seemingly good for loosening up the muscles.

“I hope my boyfriend wasn’t too pushy,” Lizzie continued. “It’s just, he was right, you have the perfect look for the part of Susie in our next production. You should totally audition.”

Daria’s heart sank.

She’d assumed Sean was as single as she was, considering how friendly he had been with her.

Yet Lizzie’s mention of Sean being her boyfriend shone new light on the situation.

What Daria had thought was romantic interest from the choirmaster had been nothing of the sort.

Sean hadn’t been flirting with her, but merely eyeing her up for a part in his show.

Daria sighed, frustrated with herself for getting so carried away.

Glancing around at the other members of the group, the realisation she had signed herself up for yet another activity she had never planned to take part in weighed heavily on her.

Perhaps finding the pineapple to her pizza wasn’t such a great idea after all.

As the evening wore on, despite her early disappointment in the potential romance department, drama group actually turned out to be OK.

Lizzie complimented her on her knack for improvisation, and Sean found her comic timing hilarious, leading to an outbreak of the giggles, which took quite a while to simmer down.

It was nice to spend time with people from different backgrounds and age groups, doing something different.


The next day, Daria was tucking into a plate of fish and chips in Cabrelli’s when Rena sat beside her.

“Any luck on the romance front?” she asked, placing a freshly filled bottle of brown sauce on the table.

Daria shook her head.

“Not at all,” she replied, pouring copious amount of the tangy sauce on to her meal.

Rena shuddered, making her disgust at Daria’s practice of drowning her food in brown sauce very clear.

“Ah, well,” Rena said, returning to her position behind the counter, where she made a point of repositioning the tartare sauce sachets. “Did you have fun trying new things?”

Daria pondered Rena’s question.

Choir practice had certainly not been up her street, but she had to admit that acting had actually felt very natural to her.

Daria couldn’t deny she enjoyed the attention she got from the other cast members when she did something well.

The acting bug had well and truly been caught.

“I did actually,” Daria replied. “I think maybe that was all I needed after all.”

“How do you mean?” Rena asked, studying the younger woman carefully.

“To try new things,” Daria explained. “Make time for me.”

Daria’s loneliness had improved significantly just being around new people, doing new things, without the pressure of finding romance.

Judging by the brightness in her demeanour, it was doing the world of good.

“You can’t find love until you learn to love yourself,” Rena commented thoughtfully.

Daria laughed, finding Rena’s affirmations amusing and, admittedly, very true.

“You’re right,” she said, biting into a hot and saucy piece of battered fish. “And what a catch I’ll be when I do.”


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