Sparkling Clean!
MODERN LIFE SHORT STORY BY STEFANIA HARTLEY
Tanino did not expect his good intentions to turn out this way
It was a lovely autumn day, Tanino thought, sitting on the balcony of his flat with his crossword.
In the distance, the mountains behind Palermo were turning green again and, on the balcony, the potted lavender filled the air with its distinctive scent.
“Melina, have you smelled our lavender?” he called through the balcony doors.
But his wife couldn’t hear him from the kitchen.
He would tell her later, Tanino thought, returning to his crossword.
But his mind wasn’t on it.
Once winter arrived, there wouldn’t be any more days like this.
Although he and Melina spent many hours at home together, they usually did their own things.
When was the last time they had spent quality time together? An outing was what they needed.
He put down his crossword and padded to the kitchen.
Melina was standing at the hob, where a batch of arancine rice balls crackled in a deep pot of bubbling oil.
“Have you seen what a lovely day it is today?” he said. “How about we go on a little outing somewhere?”
Melina looked at him as if he had suggested driving to the moon.
“When I finish frying I’ll clean the kitchen,” she said. “By then, the washing machine will have finished and I’ll have to hang the laundry out to dry.
“Then it will be lunchtime. After washing up, I’ll be dusting and mopping the sitting-room, because I do that on Mondays.”
“I see.” Tanino nodded. “You’re very busy today. How about tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow I’ll spend the morning at the market and the afternoon cleaning our bedroom and mopping the balconies,” she replied.
“Wednesday?”
“That’s bathroom-cleaning day.”
“Thursday?”
“That’s seniors discount day at the supermarket.”
On Fridays Melina went to the market to stock up on fresh food for the weekend, and on Saturday she helped arrange the flowers at church.
Sunday was church day, so it was out of the question, too, which brought them back to Monday, which was sitting-room-cleaning day.
“How is it that we’re retired and yet we can’t find a day to go on a small trip?” Tanino asked.
“That’s because you are retired, but I’m not,” Melina said wryly.
She was right. She was still doing all the domestic chores she had always done, Tanino reflected.
It was unfair, and he would put it right.
In their block of flats, the porter was the go-to person for anyone who had a problem.
The man could usually solve it or knew someone who could, so Tanino explained to him his situation.
“One of my nieces is a cleaner,” the porter told him. “She’s fast and thorough, and her charges are reasonable.
“I’m sure she would be happy to help.”
By that evening, everything was arranged.
The young woman would come to Tanino and Melina’s flat the next morning, while Melina was at the market, and would leave before she returned.
In this way, it would be a surprise for Melina.
Tanino was very pleased.
With the house cleaning out of the way, he and Melina could finally spend some quality time together.
Melina hadn’t planned on buying fish at the market, but it was fresh and her fishmonger friend had highly recommended it.
Now she was toddling home with a large paper cone of fish, wishing she had cleaned the kitchen sink so that she’d have somewhere to put it before she made space in the fridge.
But when she got home, to her astonishment, she found the floors mopped, the bathroom sparkling and the kitchen resplendent.
She dumped the fish into the spotless sink and rushed to the sitting-room, where her husband was hiding a smile behind his magazine.
“What a marvellous surprise! Thank you!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms around him and kissing him on the head.
“I’m glad you’re happy,” Tanino replied, puffing up his chest.
“Very much! I’m very impressed,” she admitted. “I had no idea that you knew how to clean a house.
“You’ve done a sterling job, and faster than I could have! You’re a dark horse!”
Tanino shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
“Actually –” he began.
“Don’t be modest,” Melina interrupted him. “Let’s give credit where credit is due.”
“Exactly, so I need to –”
“I’ve never liked the idea of calling a cleaner – a stranger in my home, touching my things . . .”
Melina shuddered.
“Now, as I have no chores left to do for today, can we still go on the trip?”
Tanino had wanted to tell Melina the truth, but his courage had drained away when she told him how much she disliked the idea of a hired cleaner.
Now he was stuck, and he needed to ensure that Melina left the house before the cleaner came, so that he could later pretend he had done the work.
“I’m not sure it’s a good use of my time going to the market just for a bunch of grapes,” Melina protested.
“We want only the best grapes for our picnic later,” Tanino said, glancing at the clock on the wall.
“Now you’d better go, before all the best grapes are sold out, ” he added, ushering her to the door.
“I feel like you’re trying to get rid of me,” she said, eyeing him suspiciously.
Tanino’s palms went clammy.
“I know!” Melina exclaimed with a grin. “You want me out of the house so you can spring another surprise for me!
“It’s very sweet of you, but a surprise only works the first time.
“You can’t send me away every time you want to clean the house.
“How about we do the cleaning together?” she then suggested. “The other day you cleaned the windows and mirrors superbly – not a streak!
“I’d love it if you could teach me your tricks,” Melina added.
“Of course.” Tanino smiled weakly.
The only trick he knew was how to dig himself into a hole.
He excused himself and rushed to cancel the cleaner, hoping that she wasn’t already at the door.
Tanino’s first struggle was with the apron Melina had insisted he should wear.
How could anyone tie a bow without looking?
After some attempts, he decided to stuff the strings into his pockets.
Next came the gloves, which he accidentally put on the wrong hands.
When he finally joined her in the bathroom, she had already finished cleaning the toilet and had moved on to the bidet.
“Why don’t you clean the mirror? You did a great job last time,” she suggested.
“Fine,” he agreed.
He picked up the cleaning product nearest to him and Melina gasped.
“I see why! You used bleach!” she exclaimed. “I’ve never heard of that done before, but I trust you know what you’re doing.
“Still, if you’re going to use such a dangerous chemical above eye level, you should definitely wear goggles.”
Tanino immediately put the bottle on the floor and rinsed his gloves.
“No problem. I can use something safer,” he said.
He looked around the room for alternatives.
There was the cream cleaner that Melina was using for the bidet, so perhaps it wasn’t the right thing for a mirror.
Then there was the shower gel, the bubble bath and something labelled “glass cleaner”.
Weren’t mirrors made of silver-backed glass? The glass cleaner might work.
Which cloth would he use?
Melina’s cleaning box contained thick sponges, thin sponges, fabric cloths, brushes, and he had no idea what each was for.
Meanwhile, to get better access to the mirror, he reached for the stool with his bathroom magazines to move it out of the way.
“So that’s your other secret!” Melina said. “I’ve heard of people using newspaper to clean their mirrors, but never a crossword!”
Reluctantly, Tanino tore a page off his brand-new crossword book.
He sprayed the glass cleaner on the mirror and it immediately ran down.
He tried to catch it with the magazine but failed.
The room filled with a vinegary stench.
This job was a lot harder than he had imagined, but they eventually finished cleaning the bathroom.
Melina concluded that Tanino must be one of those people who worked best on their own, because on the day she was out, he had cleaned the entire flat in one hour.
But now they had taken half an hour just for that one room.
She didn’t mind, though, because she had enjoyed his company.
That same day, she went out and bought an extra broom and mop so that they could sweep and mop together, starting from opposite ends of a room and meeting in the middle.
From then on, while one of them ironed, the other dusted in the same room so that they could be together.
Side by side, they sorted socks and underwear.
Folding sheets with an extra pair of arms was a lot easier.
Every time, they became a little faster, until they had entire days free for trips together.
After the first few terrifying times, Tanino had started enjoying doing the chores with Melina.
While they worked, they chatted, they listened to music or the news, and discussed it.
It felt like just as much quality time together as when they went on trips.
One morning, Tanino and Melina were leaving the building together, headed for the market, when the porter stopped them.
“Good morning, Signora Melina,” he greeted her. “I understand that you weren’t satisfied with my niece’s work.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Melina replied, confused.
“As you haven’t called my niece to clean your flat again, I assume that you weren’t pleased with her work,” the man explained.
Melina turned to Tanino with questioning eyes.
His tongue went dry.
His secret was out.
Melina was going to be cross and it would be the end of their quality time together.
“I called her. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Melina,” he apologised.
“Now it all makes sense,” she said, suddenly smiling. “That’s how you became so good at the housework – you called a professional to train you!
“Please, tell your niece that I thank her from the bottom of my heart,” she then said to the porter. “Tanino and I now share the housework every day and we enjoy it a lot.
“The reason we haven’t called her again is precisely that she’s done such a great job.”
Tanino let out the breath he was holding and nodded.
Yes, quality time with his lovely wife was definitely worth it.
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