Darkest Before Dawn Episode 26
Isobel turned her face up to the sun, enjoying its warmth on her cheeks as she walked with John.
There were times when she cursed that same sun, when she was working hard in the fields and it beat down relentlessly.
“I’m doing well now, Isobel,” John stated. “I won’t need this stick much longer.
“They say I’ll soon be well enough to go back.”
She shivered. She hated the thought of him going back.
She wished all the men could come home and that life could go back to normal.
“Using those crutches, I almost ended up with muscles like yours,” he went on, giving her arm a squeeze.
“Watch yourself,” she joked. “I’m stronger than I look.”
“I don’t doubt it,” he replied, and they fell into an awkward silence.
It shouldn’t be like this if you love someone, Isobel thought.
She remembered Bob, the young man she’d met in London.
She’d spent such a short time with him, but they had found so much to talk about in their letters. They were newsy, jokey and always fun.
If only he hadn’t been killed . . .
She felt like crying, yet this should be the happiest time of her life.
They walked along a footpath that ran beside a quiet meadow.
It wasn’t far from town, and John was managing perfectly well with his stick. It was nonsense to say he couldn’t dance.
Isobel had seen plenty of wounded men on the dance floor.
“You could almost believe there wasn’t a war on,” he commented. “It’s so peaceful here.”
Isobel nodded. The meadow was full of wildflowers and alive with butterflies and bees. What did they know of war and bombs?
Birds sang in the trees and, ahead of them, a rabbit sprang out of the long grass and raced away from them.
It would have been almost invisible against the pale brown earth but for the white of its bobbing tail.
“Run, rabbit, run!” Isobel laughed, and John caught her hand and turned her to face him.
He wasn’t laughing.
“I need to talk to you, Isobel,” he said.
“That sounds serious.”
She tried to inject a teasing tone into her voice, but it didn’t come naturally. John was like a stranger.
“It is serious,” he confirmed. “Stop trying to make a joke of everything.”
Her smile faded.
“I’m listening,” Isobel said.
“When I got back and saw you, all I wanted was for things to be like they were before I went away.
“I missed you, and for a long time all that kept me going was knowing you were waiting for me.”
He squeezed her hand.
“I thought if we got married it would make everything right, and it would all fall into place, but it hasn’t happened, Isobel.
“I don’t love you the way I should. I know that because . . .”
John closed his eyes and drew in his breath.
Isobel held hers while she waited.
“I’m very fond of you, Isobel, but it’s not love.”
Still she couldn’t speak.
Her thoughts were reeling, and her heart had started to hammer like a drum, thumping through her body, making her head throb.
All she could think about was the wedding her mother had been trying to arrange, and the dress she’d spent hours altering, working until she gave herself a headache.
It was just days away.
“I feel so guilty,” he went on, sounding desperate now. “I know you put your life on hold for me all this time and now I’m letting you down.”
She couldn’t believe how hurt and upset she felt, but as his words began to sink in, something else was happening.
A new feeling was breaking through and it was one of sheer relief.
Suddenly she realised she didn’t have to pretend any more.
“Isobel, please, say something!” John burst out, and she flung her arms around him.
Inexplicably, she felt closer to John in this moment than ever before.
“I’m so sorry,” he said as he returned her hug.
He sounded close to tears himself.
“Please forgive me, Isobel.”
“Oh, John!”
Isobel pulled back from him and held his hands, tears streaming down her face.
Her smile seemed to confuse him.
“I feel exactly the same way! I understand, I really do.”
They both laughed, overcome with relief.
“We have to tell our families,” Isobel pointed out.
“It’s not going to be half as hard as telling you,” John said with a grin.
Isobel wasn’t so sure. Her whole family had become involved in the wedding preparations, and it was meant to be an occasion to lift everyone’s spirits.
They walked home together.
John didn’t seem to lean quite as heavily on his stick after their talk, and they laughed more in that time than they had since he’d come home.
They stopped outside the house and he kissed Isobel’s cheek.
“Be happy, Isobel,” he said.
She smiled up at him.
“You, too, John.”
The curtain moved and she knew her mum had been watching.
“I was just checking to make sure John didn’t come in and see the dress,” Maud explained when she got in. “It’s finished.”
The dress was on a hanger on the back of the door. It was beautiful, but Isobel had never felt right in it.
She reached out and touched the silky material.
“You and John looked so happy just now,” Maud remarked. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am.
“I thought you didn’t want to get married.”
She laughed at the thought and Isobel began to cry. She was going to disappoint everyone.
“Everything will be all right.” Maud rubbed her back. “Really it will.”
She didn’t sound sure.
“I know, Mum,” Isobel replied. “I’m sorry to have to tell you, but John and I have had a long talk and we’ve both realised we don’t want to get married.”
Maud collapsed in a chair, her face pale.
“I’m sorry, Mum. I know it’s a shock.”
Maud started to laugh.
“I’m so pleased!” she burst out. “I knew you didn’t love him! I’ve been that worried.”
“Really? You’re not angry or upset?” Isobel asked.
“I’m glad the pair of you came to your senses in time.” Maud smiled. “Now, go and put the kettle on.
“I need a cup of tea, and then we have to let everyone know.”