A Debt of Honour – Episode 31
A Debt Of Honour
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- 1. A Debt of Honour – Episode 31
Winter mornings in Brisbane can shame a summer’s day in Scotland, but despite this, Shauna shivered as she walked beside her son towards the car park.
“What’s up?” Charlie asked, shifting his mother’s case to his other hand.
“Tired,” Shauna said.
She felt her son’s hand slip under her arm.
“I’m OK,” she protested, but made no attempt to take her arm away. “It just feels like I’ve been travelling for a week.”
Charlie’s hand stayed where it was.
“People say that jet lag is always worse travelling west to east,” he said.
Shauna shivered again. Despite the armchair luxury Neil’s upgraded ticket had bought for her, she hadn’t slept.
Instead, she had dozed across continents and oceans, her mind locked into a vicious spiral of self-blame.
So many times she had got it wrong. So many things she found herself wishing she had done differently.
Not just with Neil, but for her whole family.
She should have been a better mother. Wife. She winced at the trail of mistakes she had left behind.
But the past was over, and you could never put it right from the future.
Her sigh sounded almost like a sob.
“That’s it,” Charlie said. “You’re coming back to my place. Get some shut-eye, then I’m calling a doctor if you’re still feeling rough.”
“No,” Shauna said. “What I need is my own bed. And a cup of tea.”
It was a kind-hearted offer, but Charlie’s flat always looked as if a war game had been played in it.
Shauna refused to go into his kitchen, let alone eat anything that came out of it.
“OK.” He shrugged. “I’ll drive you home, make you a cup of tea, see you off to bed and come back in six hours.
“Then I’ll make up my mind about the doc.”
“Deal,” she said. “But don’t drive crazy. This is a duty trip with your mum, not a race track.
“How did you get on in the Big One?”
“We came in fourth,” he said proudly. “The first of the small independents. The factory teams were miles ahead, as usual.
“New engines. The best technology. All we can do is hang on to their coat tails and hope that one of them makes a mistake.
“But if they make too many of those, they’re soon out . . .”
Shauna thought she had side-tracked him, but as soon as he left her, he sat in the car and messaged Ellie on his smartphone.
What’s wrong with Mum? She’s asleep now, but she looks old, ill and exhausted. Is she sickening for something?
Within minutes, the reply came back.
Unfinished business. Just keep an eye on her, and be gentle. Think of all the times she looked after you. xxx
Charlie snorted in derision.
Over the next 12 hours, Shauna did recover, at least finding enough energy to put on a brave face.
On her second day back, she went into work to meet Mandy, whom she’d left in charge of the shop.
Mandy was her senior helper, steady, conscientious and with a good grip of running the business in the short term.
There were moments when Shauna saw herself in Mandy; like she imagined Old Bessie had seen the same qualities in her when she left her the shop.
She found Mandy serving one of their customers, and went over to add her own personal touch and advice about which floral pattern looked best.
Unbidden, Tracy, one of the juniors, went through to the back and returned with a mug of tea.
“Thanks,” Shauna said.
When the customer had left, Mandy gave Shauna a quick, searching look.
“Let’s go to your office,” she said. “I’ll bring you up to date.”
As they went through the door, Mandy hesitated.
“I don’t know where to sit.” She smiled. “I’ve been using the boss’s chair, but the boss is back.”
“In body only,” Shauna said. “My mind is still somewhere over the Indian Ocean.
“You’re still in charge until I get rid of my jet lag. So the chair is yours.”
“Doesn’t feel like it any more!” Mandy protested.
“How did things go while I was away?” Shauna asked.
“The usual crises,” Mandy said. “Late deliveries on urgent orders.
“Customers needing dresses, hats, as of yesterday – for weddings they have known about for months.
“I’ve got a cauliflower ear from chasing up suppliers on the phone. But takings are just about normal for the last three weeks.
“Remind me never to be a boss.”
“Sounds like you’ve done more than OK,” Shauna said, stifling a yawn.
“Wait until you check the books!” Mandy said. “How did Ellie’s graduation go?”
Shauna put down her mug.
“She looked so small down in the hall. Then, would you believe, I started crying and missed the really important bit, when she actually graduated . . .”
“Normal for any mum, I’d say.” Mandy smiled. “Maybe the university got a professional to do a proper video, one you can dip into for the footage you want?”
“Don’t know,” Shauna said dully.
Right now, she felt like a tired child, obstinate and unreasonable: she wanted to turn back time and see Ellie graduate live. She fought another yawn.
Outside the spotless window the sun shone from a flawless high blue Australian sky.
She wondered if it was raining back in Scotland.
She thought of Neil, his shoulders slumped at Departures, when he had believed she was no longer watching.
The image brought a blast of pain.
“What’s up?” Mandy asked quietly.
“Nothing,” Shauna replied. “Just jet lagged.”
Mandy slowly spun a pencil on the desk top.
“This is me you’re talking to,” she said. “Your oldest friend, as well as your personal shop-slave.”
Shauna forced a smile and rose tiredly.
“Nothing that won’t pass,” she said.