Great British Bake Off: Biscuit Week

This week was Biscuit Week in the Great British Bake Off 2021, and as I was watching it on catch-up, I missed the likely banter-tastic opening.

While that was undoubtedly good for my mental health, it did mean the episode technically opened with Giuseppe telling the audience he was feeling confident.

So that’s him out, then.

Signature challenge: brandy snaps

Last week several bakers went for a wee jaunt in the Black Forest, but it was clear things were getting serious this time around as pretty much everyone decided to flavour their brandy snaps with coffee (and booze).

Freya led the charge:

We’re totally obsessed with Freya’s Cappuccino. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/0t7GKQpukB

— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) September 28, 2021

Jairzeno must have had a healthy helping of it to think he could bring his ambitious creations to life in the available time. Paul and Prue give him a friendly warning about failing to complete a challenge for the second week in a row, which he earnestly took onboard.

He didn’t alter his plans at all. But he took it onboard.

“I need to make sure I get everything done properly and within time,” he says.

“Kiss of death, that,” I say.

Both Mrs Digital Ed and newly minted Digital Ed Jnr nod sagely in my direction. Well, one of them does. The other one is busy howling at the moon for some reason.

As both George and Amanda get into a real fankle with their cream, a little aside reveals that Maggie has apparently lived the sort of life Rose did after the Titanic went down.

She’s now my favourite, even if she is definitely a child’s drawing of an old lady brought to life.

In a pretty underwhelming finish, everyone’s biscuits are fine. Jürgen’s are more fine than everyone else’s.

Surprisingly(!), Jairzeno didn’t really get everything done.

Technical challenge: jammy biscuits

You know they’re jammy dodgers, I know they’re jammy dodgers. But competition rules probably prevent everyone at Channel 4 calling them jammy dodgers.

Image courtesy of The Guardian.

In keeping with Great British Bake Off tradition, this challenge looked easy, but would take practically split-second timing to pull off.

A minimum of three contestants were bound to come to pieces here. Or congeal in a chewy mess. Whichever is worse where biscuits are concerned.

Crystelle goes down the chewy route when her jam seems to transform into one big, long sticky sheet. Rochica looks utterly baffled by the whole affair (who hasn’t had — *checks notes* — jammy biscuits?), and her efforts are pretty pale and not terribly tasty.

The pack is once again pretty average. The judges criticise last-placed Maggie for claggy cream and under-baked biscuits, causing her to break down in tears after the challenge finishes.

If they do that again, we riot.

When Paul told Maggie she “needs to try harder” #gbbo pic.twitter.com/aVTGw2UyXm

— ★ ANASTAZIA ★ (@__Anastazia__) September 28, 2021

Jürgen once again comes out on top, being dubbed “the baking Terminator” in the process, proving anyone can do my job for me, really.

Showstopper: 3D biscuit sculpture

Ah, the first of this season’s “engineering challenges”.

It’s early for this nonsense, but in keeping with this week’s general vibe, it’s at least a little half-baked.

A 3D biscuit sculpture based on their favourite childhood toy, with an interactive element. This played a little into the hands of early favourites Jürgen (a physics graduate) and Giuseppe (an actual, factual engineer), and they both performed strongly.

I presume to even up the score next week’s showstopper will see the contestants tackle a particularly tricky HR problem via with a half loaf, just to give Rochica a chance.

Maggie was circling the drain once again, with her Showstopper a little underwhelming and under-baked. George and Chigs conformed to gender stereotypes by climbing the leaderboard a little, with a rotating plane and a snooker table, respectively.

(I swear this programme is the reason I now hunger for inanimate objects)

Amanda and Freya both opted for rocking horses, but sadly Amanda’s rocked itself to pieces almost immediately.

Every time. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/YdtTotOMM8

— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) September 28, 2021

Jürgen made Star Baker again, while Jairzeno’s ambition to ignore the time constraints of the contest saw him head for the door (flap)?

All in all, Biscuit Week proved to be a little flavour-free. Like a Rich Tea or something.

The traditionally tough Bread Week is going to be brutal.

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